Rantings of an old coot

Having a baby forces you to think a lot about all the ways that the world they will inhabit will differ from the world you grew up in. I was looking at Caleb’s toy telephone complete with a banana-shaped receiver resting on a large box and attached with a long cord, baring no resemblance to the cell phone that now covers its duties. I’m sure when he learns to talk he’ll ask me what it is. When he gets older he may even shake his head pityingly at the thought of his young parents carrying on conversations strapped to that corded instrument like some kind of leashed animal.

But while our corded phones kept us to a 10 yard radius, they also kept us from multi-tasking and allowed us to cultivate an ability to focus and pay attention. Cell phones, easily used while doing just about anything – shopping, driving, or (thank you Paris Hilton) even having sex – contribute to our shrinking attention spans.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how amid all the increased convenience, we are losing some of the “soft skills” we used to have when navigating the world wasn’t so easy. At the risk of sounding like an old coot, here are some of the things our world taught us, but that Caleb may not know as well how to do:

1. Wait. This one is obvious. Our modern world is practically defined by attention grabbing conveniences that promote multi-tasking and instant gratification. Fast answers, fast friending, fast news cycles, fast forward through commercials… I recently heard that today’s 5 year old has the attention span of a 3 year old from the 1970s.

2. Not know something. How many conversations meander their way to some question that no one seems to know the answer to. (When did daylight savings start? Where did the expression “mind your ps and qs come from?...) only for someone to whip out an ipod, link to Wikipedia, and declare the response. What on earth did we do when questions hung out there unanswered? Were we more comfortable with not knowing? More creative in finding the answers or remembering them ourselves?

3. Fold an awkwardly sized newspaper to a readable size or wash newsprint off his hands.

4. Know how to get anywhere. With the advent of GPS and mapquest, we really don’t need a mental map of our surroundings anymore. I was always astounded when, as a kid, we took family vacations to places my parents visited years before and they would correctly remember that Broad Street cuts the city in half and the numbered streets go north to south, while the tree-named streets go east to west.
We spent a good part of our driving vacations gazing into Rand McNally maps of the United States and figuring out that we had just crossed to the half way point in Ohio. No longer. Whether on foot or in a car, GPS can tell us how many miles and minutes to go and we scarcely have to look away from whatever else we are doing.

5. Use Wite-out. Ah, the acrid smell, the tiny bristles, the tap tap tapping of your index finger to test for dryness. All a thing of the past, along with typing anything or writing anything formal by hand. No need.

6. Stare out the window. I have fond memories of staring out the window on a Sunday morning, contemplating my young life, while I waited for mom to scramble some eggs. But between hyper-scheduled childhoods, interactive toys and video games, multi-paned internet explorers and ubiquitous TV screens, we’re simply becoming less comfortable with doing nothing. The other day I got in a taxi looking forward to some unadulterated zoning out, only to find that a small screen had been installed to run cable news shows, heaven forbid we find ourselves with nothing to do.

7. Make small talk with adults. Growing up when I wanted to talk to my friends I would have to pass a gatekeeper, “Hi Mrs. Berger. Is Melissa there?” Cell phones cut out the middle man and the practice in politeness it created.

8. Get mail on the weekends. See http://www.csmonitor.com/Commentary/the-monitors-view/2010/0302/US-Postal-Service-no-more-Saturday-delivery

9. Memorize phone numbers. In high school knew the telephone numbers of my ten best friends as well as I knew their eye color. Today I barely know my own cell phone number. That responsibility lies with my cell phone itself.

10. Fix things. Our parents grew up around a thriving industry of repairmen. You could have your shoes resoled, your camera fixed, your vacuum cleaner repaired. Today, if something breaks, we just replace it with an equally destructible alternative.
Also, our “stuff” is a lot less intuitively fixable. You used to be able to tinker with things like radios and cars and, through trail and error, figure out how they work. Try that with an iPhone.

I fully appreciate that each generation laments the losses that the changing world brings, glorifies the past and disparages the new. I’m sure the advent of the TV, radio, and even butter churner were cause for similar hand wringing. And I’m sure there are unseen and unappreciated benefits to the new. I just want to pause, stare out the window a bit, and contemplate my own small family’s transition into the new….