Should grown men be playing video games?

I have a “thing” about adult men playing video games. I’m not sure if it’s an unwarranted bias or a totally rational assessment but it’s definitely a “thing” that causes more than a bit of tension between my husband and myself.

I can tell myself that playing video games is just a modern way of recreating and that men have always found ways to burn off steam – at the pub or the golf course or cheering on their home team. Is this really any worse?

Video game fans remind me that playing isn’t even all that isolating anymore as many games are played best with a group of friends and you can even make new ones playing online fantasy games like World of Warcraft. I can even try and convince myself that there’s something to be gained in terms of hand eye coordin… (oh, I don’t even buy that one). But I get theoretically all the arguments in favor of grown men perched at the end of the couch, clutching their modern joysticks, totally engrossed in the escapist thrill of killing demons and crashing cars. I just cringe at the image.

I just can’t get passed my “thing” against it. Maybe it’s just my generation. When I grew up grown men (the ones who formed my archetype of what it is to be a man) simply did not play video games. They played sports or cards or who knows what, but they certainly did not stare at video screens. Their sons did. And the dads, along with their wives, worried that these games would atrophy their children’s bodies and minds and so tried to limit their use. (Atari and Nintendo were forbidden in our house entirely.)

But then their children grew up, and with no nagging parents to call them for dinner or remind them of homework, they were free to totally indulge their gaming habits made even better with shockingly lifelike graphics and sophisticated scenarios. I guess the video games have grown up along with the boys.

So, let’s take a closer look at what these new generation video games are offering. I did a quick search for the most popular games and they go by names like Street Fighter IV, Assassin’s Creed and Resident Evil V (I’m horrified that there were 4 Resident Evils preceding this). It doesn’t take a sociologist to figure out that these games are scratching some kind of an itch for male aggression.

But they are tapping into something even more than a lust for violence. Demon’s Souls “pits you against the forces of The Old One as you fight to save humanity from extinction” (sounds like I made that up, but no). In Braid you “Travel seven platforming worlds to save a princess” and in Dragon’s Age you travel through the “fictional land of Ferelden, meet memorable characters and fight for a cause you believe in.”

There are grand themes here of salvation and revenge all putting the player in the role of hero. Pretty seductive stuff if you’re looking to escape your humdrum life for a while. So, again, I think I can muster an understanding of the appeal.

Yet... still..... I think there is a strong case to be made against this practice that goes beyond my knee jerk aversion to how "unmanly" it is. And I know enthusiasts will balk at my saying so, but I'm a lone (and, by the way, buxom) sword yielding, seventh-level, forest gnome crusading to have my voice heard. (to borrow some imagery that might help my case.)

First of all, doesn't the modern male already generally spend the better part of his week interfacing with a computer? Shouldn't recreation at a minimum pull him away from this position at least for the sake of his eye site and rear end?

Also, is it really the best to indulge the male id in such shamelessly obvious ways? OK. It's "fun" and there's supposedly no harm done. But to me it's focused on engaging that part of the brain that was most alive in the teenage years and I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

Playing video games is also one of those activities that I would call a "time suck," in which hours might pass as minutes as your morning bowl of cereal watches the sun set. Unlike a game of golf, there's really no clear end point and there's a definite risk of these games stealing more hours of your life that even a gamer might have bargained for. And isn't there a premium on our increasingly shrinking free time already? Why do something that doesn't seem to respect that time is precious?

I'm aware this is all coming off as judgemental and nagging. My husband would vehemently argue that it is a safe and harmless outlet for decompressing after a hard day, and, in moderation, does not have to infringe on responsibilities or "healthier" forms of recreation.

Still. I have this "thing." There's just something a bit off-putting about watching the father of my child staring transfixed at screens full of fantastical characters in imaginary lands or (worse still) playing the hero in some post-apocalyptic battle scene. He claims this is unfair, but I can't help it. I'm just programmed this way.