I’ve been moaning about lower back pain so long I’m probably giving everyone around me upper head pain, and I’ve finally decided to do something about it. Last week I made an appointment to see a chiropractor. I know next to nothing about this branch of medicine, including whether it is in fact a “branch” of medicine. I know the chiropractor I saw had several framed diplomas on her wall, all of which included the word “doctor,” and there was a capital D after her name on her business card. But Wikipedia tells me that the philosophy behind chiropractics, that spinal joint dysfunction interferes with the body's innate ability to heal itself, “brings ridicule” from mainstream medicine. OK. But, even my cynical and penny pinching insurance covers some of this, so there must be some proven medical benefit, right? I know people who swear by their chiropractor and others who think they are useless. I’m still trying to make up my mind.
My first visit was a relief. My biggest fear in trying to finally address this nagging back pain was that some professional would tell me that despite the hurt I was actually just fine and send me on my way. Being a totally subjective experience, it’s hard to know whether the aches in your body are within the realm of normal –making you basically a wimpy whiner - or whether you’ve been heroically enduring some serious structural problem. In the same way I relish when a bump to my leg develops into a dark purple emblem of my pain, I desperately wanted some kind of diagnosis and vindication of my complaining. So, when, after her evaluation, the chiropractor told me I had a chronic problem but that they had just the solution, I nearly kissed her.
My other fear in going to see any kind of medical professional is also quite common. I detest that dehumanizing feeling of being treated as a collection of symptoms by an automaton who has lost the ability to see you as a person. I hate the rooms you wait in, sterile and anonymous with half-hearted attempts to brighten the atmosphere with free posters from pharmaceutical reps. I hate the sterilized instruments on trays, which remind me that I am most of all a specimen, a problem to be solved with tests. I notice myself shrink in these offices and curl up inside myself. This is why I have avoided seeing someone about my back for so long.
So, score another point for my chiropractor who looked me in the eye, listened with a look of rapt sincerity and concern to my responses to her questions and never once looked at the clock. This went on for so long I almost got impatient. I didn’t quite know what was happening, and then it dawned on me. She’s establishing a rapport. She’s getting to know me as a person with a family and a job and interests. That alone made me want to come back. Which is a good thing because after she did her evaluation, it looked like I would be coming back. A lot!
Now, this is where she started to lose me. Just when this experience started to feel like salvation I heard that the solution to my back pain is coming in for adjustments…. three times a week for a month! Then twice a week for a month, and then once a week for a month! Totally unprepared for that level of time and money commitment, my jaw hit the floor (which is probably no good for the spine) and I entered in what feels like a used car sales negotiation with me trying to weasel out of this treatment plan and the chiropractor using everything in her arsenal to rope me back in. And then I notice the “2 referrals get you a free t-shirt sign” which adds to the general paranoia that I might be being “had.” But my defenses, along with my back, are weak, so I ultimately agree.
So, this is where I am. I’ve now had 3 adjustments and I still can’t decide whether I’m on my way to chiropractic conversion or simply to becoming $500 poorer. The drill is this: they zap me with electromagnet muscle stimulations for 10 minutes and the adjustments take all of another 10. She presses hard on either side of my spine and cracks my back and is off to the next patient. It’s moderately painful and takes up a significant chunk of my already miniscule free time; but if it works, I’ll be proselytizing chiropractics to anyone who will listen. If not, I imagine you’ll be hearing about that too.
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